The Enduring Beauty Of Pregnancy

I had no idea what to expect going into motherhood. I only knew I wanted to be prepared. I spent weeks going to newborn classes, hours doing research and growing my knowledge on how to care for an infant. I knew what I wanted my pregnancy to look like and I knew what I wanted motherhood to look like, but sometimes reality isn’t the picture we paint in our heads. 

At 28 weeks pregnant, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and at 38 weeks pregnant, my OBGYN suggested a cesarean section be done due to fetal macrosomia and risk for shoulder dystocia. These were two of my biggest fears in pregnancy. I had to make a decision, and I had to choose what would be the best thing for my baby and me. 

Through these difficult times I relied on God to help and guide me. He shows favor, even though we don’t deserve it. He blessed my womb with a child, so I knew everything was going to be alright. My son was delivered via c-section at 8:14pm on November 29, 2024. 

The recovery part after a c-section was very hard. I never had a surgery before and had no idea of the aftermath. I struggled to nurse my baby, and I couldn’t help change his diaper until he was a few days old because of the pain I was in. I had to fully rely on someone to help me with daily things like going to the bathroom and showering. That’s hard coming from an independent person. Sleep deprivation is REAL. Postpartum trenches were a real thing for me. Sometimes, I cried multiple times a day. There were days I forgot to brush my teeth, and I didn’t have an appetite. Only a few days in, it had felt like months. It was a hard transition period for me. 

One night while I was trying to soothe my baby to sleep, I put on some worship music and I started singing a part of the song that says, “He’ll turn it around, don’t know when, don’t know how, but you always do it somehow.” I started bawling. I had sung that verse so many times before, but in that moment it just hit differently. I had a new perspective on that verse. I believed while singing that, that God was going to turn things around because of the way I was feeling. I felt defeated. Things felt so hard. I didn’t know how or when, but I knew God would because he is faithful. He saw me, even though I didn’t feel like he saw me at that moment.

I am grateful for this season. God uses everything. Every part of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum… He used to show me new things. He showed me how loved I am by those around me. That’s something I’ve struggled to see for years. My heart took a turn when it came to being grateful for the people around me. I couldn’t have gotten through this without them. He also is teaching me to slow down. I have always been the girl to be on the go, always needing to check off a list of things to do. He is showing me how he sees me through the lens of how I see my son. It saddens him to see us cry and in pain. We don’t have to do anything to earn his love. He loves us and cares for us because we are his children. I can’t wait to see the continued revelation that God will pour into me. He can do the same thing for you! It has only been a short time, but a lifetime of fresh perspective awaits. ❣

“For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭11‬:‭36‬ ‭KJV‬